ugh. I can’t stop! WHY?! I started fixating on all these dark marks (hyperpigmentation?) from pimples that were slowly healing on their own since I haven’t been picking. But instead of being patient, I decided to “help out.”
I noticed that the dark spots were slightly raised, as if something was inside preventing the pimples from fully healing. So instinctively, I tried to get it out. The spots or whatever gunk I squeezed out would have probably eventually dried up and fallen off on their own, but I swear, I’m like convinced that squeezing it out speeds up the healing process. EVEN THOUGH I KNOW IT DOESN’T! I REALLY SHOULD KNOW BETTER!!
So I pinched and squeezed and scratched and dug and clawed at my skin until that white-ish sesame seed looking thing (you all know what I’m talking about, don’t pretend) finally oozed out, leaving my poor tender face bloody and bruised.
I think this picking session partially stemmed from boredom, so maybe I should write more consistently. Keep my mind and fingers busy. And have a healthier diet.
…But also in the middle, I definitely could have walked away, but my boyfriend smoked, so I felt entitled to continue. I know, excuses…
okay well, time to slap some manuka honey on the damage, tell myself its not the end of the world, light a candle, turn on my Christmas lights, and try not sulk like usual 🙂